The Vancouver Canucks "proudly" claimed Kyle Wellwood off of waivers yesterday in an attempt to create their highly anticipated and innovative "SSRS-UNIT".
"Believe me, this unit will be the new NHL's "Legion of Doom"" Gillis claims.
Wellwood, 25, has proven to be a wave of potential for the Canucks with his unwillingness to get in shape and ability to get injured often because of it. Gillis, hired by Aquilini for his innovative perception of the new NHL with ideas like the "SSRS-UNIT", actually believed that Dave Nonis' original plan on rebuilding the Canucks involved lazy, no-good, puck-hog players like Wellwood. Only, Gillis states, he is a better candidate than Nonis because while Nonis had the RIGHT IDEA with rebuilding the franchise with goalies like Roberto Luongo, Nonis never picked up a piece of garbage player like Wellwood that would fit right into Alain Vigneault's "hard-work-pays-off" coaching style. Gillis believes this is the beginning of something big with the claiming of Wellwood off waivers. When asked whether he was going to pursue all-star Martin St. Louis next to complete the line, Gillis replied "No, he's too good"
Good luck next year, Canucks.
By the way, i'm joking...this whole "article" is not real nor is it in any way meant to be taken too seriously. It is exaggerated, but I do stand by my perception that Kyle Wellwood is lazy and won't do much to help the Canucks. And, I don't like him. He better prove me wrong. Plus, I like Nonis more than Gillis, and I believe Aquilini's decision to fire Nonis was unjustified. As of now, i'm not happy. We'll just have to see.
"It's a great new idea. I'm very excited" mumbles Mike Gillis, the new GM of the Canucks.Gillis, and the rest of the not-so-bright executives (Francesco Aquilini) believe that a "new and improved" Kyle Wellwood would fit right into their plans for the future. Kyle Wellwood, known for his laziness, diminutive hockey sense, and recently, his questionable attitude, is going to be placed on a line with Ryan Shannon to create 2/3 of a lethal and feared line called the "Shortest Second-Rate Scoring Unit" (SSRS-UNIT) in which opponents will be afraid to throw hard bodychecks because Gary Bettman WILL BE ON THEIR ASS after these small hockey players get hurt. Gillis, and the rest of the not-so-bright executives believe that a line combination with 3 players all 5'10 and under (Wellwood, 5'10, Shannon 5'9) will help pave the way for the new NHL, where speed and agility are more important than size and work ethic.
"Believe me, this unit will be the new NHL's "Legion of Doom"" Gillis claims.
Wellwood, 25, has proven to be a wave of potential for the Canucks with his unwillingness to get in shape and ability to get injured often because of it. Gillis, hired by Aquilini for his innovative perception of the new NHL with ideas like the "SSRS-UNIT", actually believed that Dave Nonis' original plan on rebuilding the Canucks involved lazy, no-good, puck-hog players like Wellwood. Only, Gillis states, he is a better candidate than Nonis because while Nonis had the RIGHT IDEA with rebuilding the franchise with goalies like Roberto Luongo, Nonis never picked up a piece of garbage player like Wellwood that would fit right into Alain Vigneault's "hard-work-pays-off" coaching style. Gillis believes this is the beginning of something big with the claiming of Wellwood off waivers. When asked whether he was going to pursue all-star Martin St. Louis next to complete the line, Gillis replied "No, he's too good"
Good luck next year, Canucks.
By the way, i'm joking...this whole "article" is not real nor is it in any way meant to be taken too seriously. It is exaggerated, but I do stand by my perception that Kyle Wellwood is lazy and won't do much to help the Canucks. And, I don't like him. He better prove me wrong. Plus, I like Nonis more than Gillis, and I believe Aquilini's decision to fire Nonis was unjustified. As of now, i'm not happy. We'll just have to see.
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